A Letter to Father...

Dear Father,

You know what happened earlier this week. You know how this has affected me. You know how what that kind of thing means to me, all the follow-up ripple questions that are rolling around in my head.

He lied to me. By omission, but it was still not the full honesty I need to feel safe Is he keeping something else from me? Will he keep stuff from me in the future? And if he thought this course of action was a good idea, maybe I should, too?

But when I think of following him in that choice, I feel immense fear. I'm not sure why I'm afraid, what I'm afraid of, but I'm afraid.

And I'm still kind of struggling with processing that deceit and forgiving my sweetheart for hurting me like that. I get why he did it- he was afraid. But I also don't get it because... His fear was because he is used to how the other one responded to similar thoughts.

But I'm not her. Even when he shared about that one skeleton, I thought I handled it really well. Sure, that skeleton isn't a fun or happy thing. But I took it in stride, and I've been supportive.

So why was he afraid this time? What else is going on? What else do I need to know?.. about his headspace, about my own headspace, about this decision.

Your confused Daughter.

My Dear Beloved Daughter,

I love you so very much! I know you're hurting, confused, and afraid. Please don't be. I'm here for you- in everything.

Your sweetheart was afraid, true. He had been hurt by another for sharing that exact same kind of information, so he was kind of gun-shy. That fear clouded his judgment, and he was not able to think clearly about the kind of woman you are, that you're much more compassionate and understanding. He didn't hold back because of you. He held back because of his own history and fears, because he's human.

He loves you and didn't mean to hurt you. I know it will take time to forgive him- and that's ok. But don't be afraid to forgive him when you're ready. He's a good man. And I'm glad he's good to you. You've been through so very much- you need peace, and you've found that with him.

Give yourself time to heal. And give him time to re-prove himself. I love you both so very much!

Father